Dreams

Today I find myself daydreaming - thinking of my new job, thinking of voice lessons with my daughter, thinking of... anything.

But unlike before I don't hate what I'm doing when I sit down to write my dissertation.  I really kind of like it - I have a plan and a goal and I have a schedule to meet that goal.  In fact, I had a dream last night about the goal - that I wasn't going to meet the goal. I filed a petition with the court (talk about confusing one's role) and the court granted the extension.  And I've sat on that thought: not meeting my goal of 75 days.  And I'm okay - I mean, the only thing affected is when I graduate. I FIRMLY believe I'm going to get this thing done in 2013 and if nothing else, that is ALL I ask: that I never write a damn thing about equitable distribution in 2014 or any other year in my life - unless I'm being paid to do so as an expert.

I'm not happy with my progress, on its face.  But I'm happy with my outlook - for now. I need to find the balance and maintain it.  I'll take what I can get, right now, though.  I am working each day.  I am making progress each day.  I am further than I was the day before.  I am making this as much of a priority as I possible am able to.  I think that is all I ever asked of myself and since I am doing it, I feel oddly okay with myself and less frustrated.

I forgot a new task when I wrote my entry yesterday so now I'm adding two:
5. GO TO THE GYM as often as I want (without feeling guilty)
4. Read a newspaper with coffee in the morning (without feeling guilty)
3. Write a will
2. Read a novel (without feeling guilty)
1. Learn Spanish