When Reality Strikes Back

So the astute reader probably figured out that The Portioned Plate refers to having a lot to do on one's metaphorical plate.  As a working mother who is a graduate student determined to return to her pre-preggo figure, I do struggle to portion my time appropriately.  Yes, that is the gist of this blog.

For those who know me, some may remember a time in my life where I refused to let the food on my plate (actual plate this time!) touch.  I am one who eats the various dishes of my meals one at a time.  In particular, I tend to save the best aspects of my meal for last so I can savor the flavor.  So another dimension to The Portioned Plate is really a concession that as a mother with a lot on her "plate" you have to let the parts of your life touch.  You can't execute one activity without allowing another responsibility to crop up, oftentimes when you least expect it.  So if you imagine those sectioned off plates, my "plate" has a lot of spillage and seepage, and I am learning that that is okay.

I have always been a good "deadline setter."  In a different time and place in my life, that would have allowed for more dissertation progress because the number one reason students fail to complete their dissertation is due to an inability to follow through with self-imposed deadlines.  I find that my will power to follow through with these deadlines is weakening - due partly to the overwhelming "weight of my plate" and partly to the happenings of life itself.  I have set two important deadlines for June 30th.  ONE: complete the evaluations due to my Baltimore job. TWO: hand in / finalize my dissertation proposal.  As the days pass and I stay true to my number one priority, Samara, my deadlines creep closer with very few checkmarks made on my to-do list.

But now I have to step back and remember a dear friend of mine who passed away yesterday.  Ron you brought me to a much stronger faith in Christ and were an important person in my life as a high school student.  And in my grief I have found myself momentarily unable to progress in my activities and that is okay.  It is now apparent I will not meet my deadlines but I have to let that go.  As much as I am a stickler for being a go-getter and one who follows through, I have to be human and allow myself to mourn.  On the other hand, I am overjoyed that my dear friend is reunited with Christ.  Dear Ron, your death has reminded me also that I need to start again (as I did so faithfully while pregnant with Samara) my morning mediation moments with Christ.

So when life hits you, take the punch.  You may remain on the floor for a while, but when you can, gather your strength and get back to the "plate" at hand.  Rest In Peace, Dear Ron.