Credit Where Credit is Due

So I have had this sneaking suspicion that I may be offending those moms who don't work in a job outside of the home, and I feel I need to clear the air.  First, I am going to vent about this term "work."  When I was a server and then a bartender, people (other servers and bartenders included) would ask me, "When are you going to get a real job?"  And for anyone who has ever served or bartended, answer me this: what type of activity are we engaging in, if not work?  Is not handling the requests of 3 if not 6 or 7 tables (many many more if you're a bartender), coordinating the cook time with the serve time, running back and forth from table to kitchen to table, etc, preparing drinks, rolls, sides of lemon - all with a smile on our face - work?  No offense, but people who sit at those mall kiosks trying to sell miracle lotion probably tell people they are going to work, and no one argues with that.  If we are going to say that the work of bartenders and servers is not real work, and if we really thought that all those in the industry should find a "real" job out of it, then kiss your date nights good-bye.  That is one of the reasons I absolutely love to go out to eat - I appreciate every single aspect of the experience (assuming service is good.  If not, watch out, because I can also be the world's worst critic, although I rarely tell that to the person's face.) But alas, I digress.

I rant about times passed in order to make a point about work.  I have sensed the - what is a softer word than "shame?"  Whatever that word is - I want to use it.  But regardless I've sensed the "soft-shame" women feel when someone says, "What do you do?" And they reply, "I stay at home with my kids."  Some women jazz it up with, "I'm a professional taxi for my children," or "I've made my life my children." And I totally get that.  I want women who care for their children all day long to realize that I know that they ARE working.  To my point above, I am certain that the daycare workers at Samara's daycare say they are going to work.  I would think then, that what you do IS work!  Certainly working parents consider the care of their children work (while also a pleasure) on nights and weekends (sounds like a cell phone plan!)

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a long while but other subjects have come along.  However, a recent Facebook exchange with a friend gave me a renewed interest in the subject.  I realized that there is an essential ingredient in my life which makes me completely okay with leaving Samara.  I WANT to go to work.  Oddly, the way it works between my husband and I is that I want to work - non-negotiable.  If one were to choose to stay home, it'd be my husband, but we of course need his income so it just isn't happening (anytime soon at least!) I may be one of the rare few, but I look forward to work and am exhilarated by engaging in what I do each day.  I know that God has placed a lot on my plate, portioned it out, and I have some serious changes to make in my community.  I have often heard some women say that they were born to be mothers. I have never felt that, though I feel so blessed to be a mother.  And yet I know exactly what they mean.  So please, again, know that I consider the care of a child to be work.  I just want to make sure that I give credit where credit is due.