Blind-Sighted

As any parent trying to get to school / work or to an appointment or ANYwhere on time can attest – getting out of the house in one piece – never mind on time and with all necessities – is a circus act.  And it’s no exception in my house, trying to get my five-month and almost-3-year old out of the door.  Making sure I’ve got all the show and tell items, extra diapers or wipes, my own food and bag, closing doors, locking locks… and then I have to turn off all of the lights.

With arm hooked under car seat handle, I run through the house doing a lock check and turning off the lights.  Mari, with banana in hand, could be in any one of the rooms – singing, counting, hanging out… telling me what to do…  And then the last, final light expires and she is frantic.  “I’m coming Samara… Don’t worry, I’ll be right there.”  I even open the front door to shed the streetlamp light into the house.  This makes it easier – I can direct her to “go toward the light” as if in some cult, but still, she doesn’t like it and is never entirely at ease until she is holding my hand.

Again, this makes me wonder whether God feels this same way about us – all of His children.  When situations change, if things flip upside down, if we reverse course or even if the lights go out, He knows exactly where we are going.  So while we’re in the dark, He is guiding us.  He is our sight when we are blind.  Like Samara, once we realize we are still, somehow, living in His word, and doing His will, we ease our anxieties and move on.

I suppose this is what I am going through.  As I chip ever so slowly away at this 200-page project, with hardly a word actually written and a goal to finish in 6 months, each time the printer drum breaks, or the data is lost, or the baby is up during my writing time, or, or, or – any one of the million possibilities – every time I feel like I’m swirling out of control.  I say I want to give up, but luckily He talks some sense into me and I know, deep down inside, that I am going to keep on keeping on.  I don’t know whether I will finish, I don’t know what the purpose of this “exercise” is.  But I rest assured knowing that with Him, I am blind-sighted and will end up where He wants me to be.