The "Santa" Clause

"Have you taken Samara to get her picture taken with Santa yet?" When an acquaintance asked me that the other day, I had to make sure not to roll my eyes.  It never occurred to me that I'd have to reconsider my "no Santa" rule for Samara's FIRST Christmas at 8 months old.  Santa as our country portrays it has nothing to do with celebrating the birth of our Savior.  Yes, I've been called a Grinch more than one, but it isn't that I hate Christmas.  I hate Commercialismas.

The truth of the matter is, I think a very difficult part of motherhood is balancing it with all the growing commercialism of life.  Halloween was my first encounter - costumes and candy, originally centered around evil sprits on the eve of All Saints Day.  Never made any sense to me.  At one point, I heard someone say that Halloween is a time to dress up like anything you want - anything you've ever wished you were.  Now THAT is a fun idea to me, and I can "get" that.  But it is hard to undo myself of all of my "ways."

Enter Christmas.  And Christmas really is a hard holiday for me.  Ask my mother.  At least 2 Christmases, after receipt of my presents - of which there were many - I'd start to cry.  My parents were very understanding - never angry or yelling which is a good thing because I was never entirely sure why I was crying.  If I had to guess, I would say it is because I was not filled in any way by the gifts.  The gifts were great, but I think for me the anticipation of the day and the anticipation of how I thought those gifts would make me feel were never matched.

So as people line up at midnight the day after Thanksgiving, I admit, I'm a little disgusted.  When a colleague asked me if I'd gone shopping on Black Friday, I laughed and said, "No way, I'm not crazy.  I can't handle all of the hype." And seconds after I said it, I realized she may actually LIKE Black Friday, which turned out to be the case.  But rather than feel too embarrassed about my comment, I decided to get to the bottom of this - why does she do this?  She said it was a rush - that she felt she was in the moment...  I can't say that I understand THAT, but I do understand the "rush."

My "rush," for sure, is giving.  It must be.  I spend the entire YEAR thinking of things to get for people and then I insert my latest idea into the upcoming appropriate gift-giving occasion - Christmas, birthday, Mother/Father's Day.  I take my gift-giving seriously.  And it isn't that I need to get something "personal" as much as I want something useful. The last thing I want to do is give someone more junk, although I know many of my gifts have done exactly that - but then again, I never claimed to be perfect...  The rush I get is that someone gets something they need - I tell you, I HAVE cried at Price is Right when someone says they have a 20-year old car, and then they win a new one.  I also buy livestock each year for those in other countries, via World Vision.  And I'm working on getting people to donate to others, rather than give gifts to me.

I've yet to figure out what to do about Santa.  Because surely Santa IS about giving - he GIVES the gifts. I just don't like what our stores and the need for our economy to strengthen has done with a holiday around Jesus' birth.  I suppose as much as I guess Samara deserves to wake up and see what SHE's been given, I want her to be excited to see the faces of those to whom she gives.  So, "no" Samara is not going to get her picture taken with Santa this year.  When she asks, sure.   And on the way, we'll drop off donations at the local Goodwill, or bring canned food to a soup kitchen.  I never knew I'd have to sign onto Santa but since it seems I will, we might as well embrace the true meaning of Santa, and give.